How Leaders Honor Their Parents

The Ten Commandments may well be the best-known set of rules in human history. Each one is important, but number five is very personal and the only one that includes a promise. “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” For some reason, we tend to associate this commandment with obedient children, but, of course, it applies fully to adult, mature, even old leaders as well.

LEADERS

I think I was a fairly obedient and respectful child (most of the time) during the early years of my life. However, as my parents aged, the fifth commandment took on different aspects for me as a leader. Here are five ways a leader can (and should) be obedient to the fifth commandment and honor their parents, even as an adult.

1. Pray for Them. This step may be the simplest, but it is not necessarily an easy one. Leaders who prioritize family begin with thanksgiving for their lives and intercession for their health, especially as they age. In case of leaders whose parents are not yet believers, praying regularly for their salvation may be the most important prayer of all.

2. Obey Them. At 61 years old, my mother no longer gives me orders that I have to obey. However, there is value in being a son or a daughter who is always willing to follow the instructions of a parent – at any age. Of course, the only exception would be if they ask you to do what is clearly against God’s will.

3. Spend Time with Them. Leaders are busy people, so this honoring practice requires intentionality and planning. Including parents in your busy agenda honors them and will bless your leadership.

4. Serve Them. In some cultures, this step is a no-brainer; children and grandchildren are an older person’s safety net. Sons and daughters are expected to take parents in and care for them. In other contexts, where senior people are independent, providing is a less hands-on affair, but it is equally important.

5. Forgive Their Shortcomings. No parents are perfect. All parents make mistakes and sin. Forgiving and releasing parents of any guilt will actually help you. Of course, Jesus teaches us to forgive, but there is nothing there about maintaining a dysfunctional relationship with abusive individuals, even if they are parents.

6. Connect Them with Your Own Children. I am not quite that old, but I am already on the receiving end of this one. My adult children honor my wife and I by helping us have a very special connection with our four grandkids. The relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is very important to your family’s legacy.

7. Honor Their Memory After They are Gone. I recently lost my father. My wife’s dad passed away a few years ago. Remembering them and honoring their best qualities is a way we can honor them long after they are gone.

How old are you? What does honoring your parents look like to you? The beauty of the fifth commandment is the promise of a long life, so that we too can enjoy the same honor we afford our parents today.