Proximity Does Not Equal Intimacy

In a recent worship service I attended, the pastor, Dr. David Eldridge, shared a thought I feel is worth repeating. It is not necessarily a new concept, but it is very helpful. He said, “Proximity does not equal intimacy.” This is something we all could agree on without even the slightest hesitation, but it may require deeper explanation.

Proximity vs Intimacy Blog SQ new.jpg

Proximity vs intimacy

At a sporting event, a concert, or a crowded bus we can be so close to a complete stranger it is difficult to avoid physical contact with them. We can be very close in proximity, but there is a complete absence of intimacy.

The example Dr. Eldridge spoke of was Judas Iscariot, the disciple of Jesus. Judas was in close proximity to Jesus for most of three years. He ate with Jesus, travelled with Jesus, and was taught by Jesus. He was called by Jesus, sent out in ministry by Jesus, and even involved in miracles wrought by Jesus (the feeding of the 5000). He was not, however, in an intimate relationship with Jesus. He was not moved beyond superficial proximity to personal intimacy in which he began to understand and share the heart and mind and desire of Jesus. Few people were in such proximity to Jesus, but Judas never had an intimate relationship with Jesus.

The example of judas

This example makes sense to us as we see the results of Judas’ proximity to Jesus. Rather than being in love with Jesus, being shaped and molded by Jesus, and being surrendered to Jesus, Judas took advantage of his position for personal gain by stealing from their common treasury. He complained about the love poured out on Jesus by Mary as she lavishly anointed His body with expensive perfume. And of course, he ultimately betrayed Jesus for a mere 30 pieces of silver. We may not be able to explain how or why, but we understand that for Judas, proximity did not equal intimacy.

We are probably less comfortable in considering the application of this principle more broadly. We like to think that when we go to church regularly, we must be in an intimate relationship with Jesus. We certainly want to think that if we believe the Bible (or at least most of it), we are intimately related to Jesus. The truth is, close proximity to the Church, the Bible, or the things of God, does not ensure that we are in an intimate relationship with Christ. We have all seen on television or a video of someone at a big game, with tens of thousands of people around them going crazy, and they are having conversations, scrolling on their phone, or completely disenchanted by the plays in the game. As Dr. Eldridge put it, “You can be in the stands, but not be a fan.”

INTIMACY is the goal

Intimacy with God can never be taken for granted. It is not even guaranteed to happen as we read the Bible. I know of people who read the Bible, but do not even claim to be Christian. Intimacy is not the same as proximity. It is imperative that we focus on intimacy and not simply information. It is not enough to be in close proximity to Jesus. We are made for and called to an intimate relationship with Jesus. Speak from your heart and listen for His heart. Don’t be fooled by proximity. Worship, pray, fellowship, and commune with Jesus. Be intentional about intimacy.